ALL IN!

What’s it mean to be “All In!”?

When we hear “I’m all in!!”, it conjures up images of someone who is fully committed to whatever the task is.  If it is in reference to sports, we envision an athlete who is willing to practice their skills until they are perfected; if it is a musician, we can picture a guitarist practicing, playing until their fingers are raw and bleeding.  But when it comes to marriage, do we see the same commitment and passion in the couples we know or in our own marriage?

When we are dating, we typically are “all in” because we are trying to win our future husband or wife. Then after we are married and settle into the daily routine and responsibilities of life, we stop working as hard on the relationship and begin to take each other for granted.

So, what does being “All In” look like in marriage? For my own marriage it means the below:

·         First and foremost, I’m “All In” in my relationship with Jesus.  I keep Him first in my life above every other relationship, need, want, desire in my life. Jesus said it this way in Luke 14:26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters – yes, even their own life – such a person cannot be my disciple.” 

Was Jesus saying we are to hate other people? Of course not, this would go against His command to love your neighbor as yourself.  We are told from commentators that Jesus was using a hyperbole to emphasize His point.  The Greek word here in this passage is miseo and this context would be better translated as “esteem” or “love” less. In other words, Jesus is to be our #1 priority over anyone and anything else.

·         Being “All In” in my marriage also means:

o   That I’m quick to forgive and quick to repent/ask forgiveness when I’ve screwed up!

o   I believe the best of my wife.

o   I think of ways I can love my wife and serve her.

o   I communicate to her I love her, I appreciate her, I respect her and I am here to protect her and support her in this relationship.  I constantly ask myself how I can communicate this: through my words, my actions, my prayers.

o   I check in with her often to see how she is doing and if there is anything I can do for her!

o   I pray with her and for her, every morning if possible!

o   I pray and ask God to help me support her in fulfilling the call on her life and the dreams/visions He’s placed in her heart!

o   This is a big one!  I ask her how I’m doing as her husband and if there is anything I can do better!  Whoo!  That’s a tough one.  And I don’t give excuses or argue.  I listen and take it to God to see how I can become the man God wants me to be.

o   I protect our marriage against competing priorities and distractions. i.e. working too much, hobbies, other family relationships, ministry.

I could go on and on.  I’m sure you have your own list and it might be a bit different based on your current season of life but ultimately our marriage is a result of our daily choices! And I’ll talk more about that on another day.